Saturday afternoon Arisman, 29, and Herlina, 26, sat atop their golden throne and smiled as hundreds of guests filed into the gold “wedding room” to get a glimpse of this bride and groom in their traditional attire. These newlyweds hosted a time-honored wedding celebration based upon an abundance of traditions unique to Aceh.
According to Arisman, such traditions aren’t only found in the wedding, but they begin with the engagement. In Aceh, an engagement involves more than the simple question, “Will you marry me?” Instead, it is a process that involves both families and much discussion. When a man is ready to propose to a woman, he usually chooses a seulangke (representative) to speak with his prospective bride’s family and ask, on his behalf, if he would make an acceptable husband. If the woman’s family says “yes” then both families gather at the woman’s house to discuss two important gifts: the mahar (present that will be given to the bride at the wedding) and the uang hangus (amount of money the groom will pay to enter into the woman’s family).
Once the mahar and the uang hangus have been agreed upon, the families can begin to plan the engagement ceremony. At this ceremony the man gives a gift of gold (along with its receipts) to his future bride, symbolizing that she is now spoken for. Once the female accepts the gold, it is understood that if she breaks the engagement she will owe the man double the amount of mahar, uang hangus, and gold. If the man breaks the engagement, the woman’s family will keep the gold given at the engagement ceremony.
On the day of the actual wedding, the couple will marry at the mosque, office of religious affairs (Kantor Urusan Agama) or, if the couple prefers, the ceremony may take place at the bride or groom’s home. Usually the wedding ceremony is quite intimate and about 20 people attend, including witnesses from the bride and groom’s sides, family members, and key people from the village. During this ceremony the groom presents his bride with the mahar and the Quran.
Planning the wedding reception takes great amounts of work and Arisman noted that both families usually share the responsibility. This is especially important considering the often lengthy guest list. If the family is considered prominent, it is not unusual for an entire village to be invited to the wedding reception –such parties can reach into the thousands. Not surprisingly, preparing food for all these guests is an enormous task. Although caterers can be hired, most families work together to prepare the wedding luncheon.
Newlyweds Wiwit and Agus (married December 28), declared that they had a rather small wedding and Agus’ relatives prepared all the food (Wiwit’s family was unable to attend as her family lives in Java). For this couple a “small” celebration meant having six or seven hundred guests. They explained that because Agus’ family recently hosted a wedding celebration for his sister, the family’s budget required that they host a “simple” reception. “We would have liked to have invited 3,000,” said Agus.
The guests attending the wedding luncheon traditionally feast on goat, buffalo and pliku (aged coconut with vegetables), while the bride and the groom sit atop eat in their decorated wedding room. Over the course of the afternoon the guests file into this room draped in gold to offer congratulations and admire their
ornate wedding apparel. Arisman and Herlina said they wore four different wedding outfits, typical of the wedding attire in Aceh, Padang, Kalimantan and Sunda. Wiwit and Agus had two wedding wardrobes – one from Aceh and one from Padang. “Wearing these beautiful clothes made me so happy!” said Wiwit. In addition to their intricate wedding clothes, both brides, Herlina and Wiwit, had their hands and feet painted with inai (henna). It is customary for the inai to be applied during the three days and nights leading up to the ceremony.
Considering the multiple wedding costumes that must be rented, the extraordinary number of guests that are invited, and the gifts of gold and money that must be given, Acehnese weddings can be quite expensive. Arisman estimates that a typical wedding in Meulaboh costs about Rp. 15,000,000.
But for the couples that I spoke with, despite how elaborate or special their wedding celebrations were, the day does not compare to their new joy as husband and wife. “Now in my heart there is peace,” said Wiwit, “My husband is a gift for me.”
For many visitors to Aceh attending a wedding celebration can also be a gift, especially as you learn about the time honored traditions behind the wedding day.
Much of the information and research about Acehnese weddings was contributed by Centre Mulia Hati and translated by Nia Limanto. Thanks to Riza (CRS) for translating the interview with Arisman.
According to Arisman, such traditions aren’t only found in the wedding, but they begin with the engagement. In Aceh, an engagement involves more than the simple question, “Will you marry me?” Instead, it is a process that involves both families and much discussion. When a man is ready to propose to a woman, he usually chooses a seulangke (representative) to speak with his prospective bride’s family and ask, on his behalf, if he would make an acceptable husband. If the woman’s family says “yes” then both families gather at the woman’s house to discuss two important gifts: the mahar (present that will be given to the bride at the wedding) and the uang hangus (amount of money the groom will pay to enter into the woman’s family).
Once the mahar and the uang hangus have been agreed upon, the families can begin to plan the engagement ceremony. At this ceremony the man gives a gift of gold (along with its receipts) to his future bride, symbolizing that she is now spoken for. Once the female accepts the gold, it is understood that if she breaks the engagement she will owe the man double the amount of mahar, uang hangus, and gold. If the man breaks the engagement, the woman’s family will keep the gold given at the engagement ceremony.
On the day of the actual wedding, the couple will marry at the mosque, office of religious affairs (Kantor Urusan Agama) or, if the couple prefers, the ceremony may take place at the bride or groom’s home. Usually the wedding ceremony is quite intimate and about 20 people attend, including witnesses from the bride and groom’s sides, family members, and key people from the village. During this ceremony the groom presents his bride with the mahar and the Quran.
Planning the wedding reception takes great amounts of work and Arisman noted that both families usually share the responsibility. This is especially important considering the often lengthy guest list. If the family is considered prominent, it is not unusual for an entire village to be invited to the wedding reception –such parties can reach into the thousands. Not surprisingly, preparing food for all these guests is an enormous task. Although caterers can be hired, most families work together to prepare the wedding luncheon.
Newlyweds Wiwit and Agus (married December 28), declared that they had a rather small wedding and Agus’ relatives prepared all the food (Wiwit’s family was unable to attend as her family lives in Java). For this couple a “small” celebration meant having six or seven hundred guests. They explained that because Agus’ family recently hosted a wedding celebration for his sister, the family’s budget required that they host a “simple” reception. “We would have liked to have invited 3,000,” said Agus.
The guests attending the wedding luncheon traditionally feast on goat, buffalo and pliku (aged coconut with vegetables), while the bride and the groom sit atop eat in their decorated wedding room. Over the course of the afternoon the guests file into this room draped in gold to offer congratulations and admire their
ornate wedding apparel. Arisman and Herlina said they wore four different wedding outfits, typical of the wedding attire in Aceh, Padang, Kalimantan and Sunda. Wiwit and Agus had two wedding wardrobes – one from Aceh and one from Padang. “Wearing these beautiful clothes made me so happy!” said Wiwit. In addition to their intricate wedding clothes, both brides, Herlina and Wiwit, had their hands and feet painted with inai (henna). It is customary for the inai to be applied during the three days and nights leading up to the ceremony.Considering the multiple wedding costumes that must be rented, the extraordinary number of guests that are invited, and the gifts of gold and money that must be given, Acehnese weddings can be quite expensive. Arisman estimates that a typical wedding in Meulaboh costs about Rp. 15,000,000.
But for the couples that I spoke with, despite how elaborate or special their wedding celebrations were, the day does not compare to their new joy as husband and wife. “Now in my heart there is peace,” said Wiwit, “My husband is a gift for me.”
For many visitors to Aceh attending a wedding celebration can also be a gift, especially as you learn about the time honored traditions behind the wedding day.
Much of the information and research about Acehnese weddings was contributed by Centre Mulia Hati and translated by Nia Limanto. Thanks to Riza (CRS) for translating the interview with Arisman.
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